Memory waltz

It’s May. The rains are here. With the first raindrop, flowers bloom. Girls turn into women. Love blossoms. Memories, like golden rays of the setting sun, are fingers that reach back into the depths of one’s being. Ordinary folks become poets, poets become lovers. Sinners pray, children offer flowers to the Virgin.

It’s fiesta time in many parts of the country. People remember their saints – San Isidro, patron of farmers. There’s food on the table after a bountiful harvest. The morning star seems to not part with the moon. A sign, fishermen say, of a good catch waiting in the middle of the ocean. A sign, young men say, to go a-courting.

People who are far decide to come home. Those who could not afford a trip back wax sentimental, especially in the early evening, when noise and silence compete to grab one’s attention. There’s no escaping the memory of village dances, of picnics under fruit-bearing mango trees, of games – tubig-tubig or tubigan under the full moon, taguan, or even sungka with older cousins and siblings.

There’s no escaping the shadow of the past visiting, of lovers leaving, of family members dying, of the first heartache, the second, and sometimes, the endless romance that never came to be, of promises that never become reality.

The month of May is both happy and sad, a marriage of tragedy and victory - facets of life all of us cannot escape, like coming to life and dying, like clouds becoming rain, like buds dying to become flowers, like girls having their first period, like the fingers of the setting sun, reaching out but slowly fading on the horizon.

Cloudy skies

The weather bureau said Metro Manila will be experiencing cloudy skies in the coming days.

I just hope that in the coming days, as the elections near, the forecast will not take a literary twist.

Elections in this country is not known to be "bright" with the perennial incidents of cheating, fraud and violence.

France had its presidential election last Sunday. On Monday, the French people already knew who their new president is.

Will the time come that Filipinos will have the same experience?

'Moment'

There's nothing more romantic than spending time with a loved one, even for a moment, to reminisce the past and dream about the future.

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

- Pablo Neruda

Paglalakbay

Tila ulan sa tag-init ang maikling panahon na nakaalis ako sa bansa. Subalit gustuhin ko mang maaliw, ipinagkait ito ng panahon. Hanggang sa ibang bayan trabaho pa rin ang aking inatupag.

Umalis ako sa paliparan ng Maynila alas-otso ng umaga ng Martes. Natulog lang ako buong panahon sa eroplano hanggang dumating sa paliparan ng Singapore.

Masayang sumakay ng eroplano lalo na kung malayo ang biyahe. Para bang dinuduyan ka sa ulap. Hindi ko lubos maisip na nasa pagitan ako ng langit at lupa at ipinapasa-Diyos ang buhay. Isipin nyo nga naman po, nasa hangin ka, nasa gitna ng kawalan, tila sinusubukan ang pananampalataya.

Pagdating sa Singapore, takbo naman agad sa isa pang eroplano para lumipad ng isang oras patungong Jakarta. Nang sinabi ng piloto na malapit na kaming dumapo sa Indonesia, sumilip ako sa bintana. Parang Pilipinas lang pala ang kapitbahay nating bansa. Medyo maganda pa ang Maynila. Marami ang sasakyan. Isipin nyo nga naman na apat na milyon daw ang motorsiklo sa Jakarta kung saan ang population ay tulad din lang sa Metro Manila.

Dumating ako sa aking tinirhang hotel at nagpahinga. Gawain kong magbabad sa bath tub matapos ang mahabang paglalakbay. Nakakatuwang maglaro ng mga bula sa maligamgam na tubig. Para kang bata, wala kang ibang iniisip, pabasa-basa, payosi-yosi, hanggang makatulog at magising na lamang dahil malamig na ang tubig.

Naghapunan naman agad ako ng authentic na Indonesian na pagkain at biglang napaluha dahil nakakain ng sili. May tumutugtog sa piyano at biglang humirit ng mga Frank Sinatra, kaya nagdesisyon akong bumalik na lang sa kwarto para manood ng TV.

Matagal-tagal na ring panahon na di ako nakatulog ng maaga, kaya bago pa man mag-ala una ng umaga'y nakaidlip na ako. Syanga pala, huli ng isang oras sa Pilipinas ang Indonesia.

Kinaumagahan, masaya naman akong binati ng mga kasapi ng fellowship ng Seapa. Nagbigay ako ng pananalita sa sitwasyon ng media sa Pilipinas. Mahaba din ang naging diskusyon kaya inabot kami ng tanghalian.

Kinahapunan naman, isang pagtitipon ng hindi kumulang isang daang mga mamamahayag mula sa iba't ibang bansa ng Asya ang aking nakasalamuha. Nagsalita naman ako tungkol sa tinatawag na "Culture of Impunity." Marami ang nagtanong. Marami ang nagulat. Marami ang namangha sa sitwasyon hindi lamang sa ating bansa kundi sa buong Asya.

Nagpalipas lang ako ng gabi sa kwarto dahil napaka-traffic sa Jakarta at tila wala naman akong mapapasyalan dahil medyo malayo ang aking tinirhang hotel sa sentro ng bayan.

Umaga na ng magising ako at kailangang magsalita naman sa isang forum tungkol naman sa "defamation" at libel. Nag-press conference pa ako matapos ko malaman na inatras na pala ni First Gentleman Arroyo ang demandang libelo laban sa 46 na mamamahayag.

Nakiupo na lang ako sa workshop kinahapunan tungkol sa mga batas ukol sa media at sa tinatawag nilang press council. May natutunan naman ako at iba talaga ang karanasan ng media sa ibang bansa.

Ala-siyete na ng gabi ng magsindi naman kami ng kandila para sa mga mamamahayag na nawawala. Umikot ako sa plaza ng Jakarta at kumain ng mga lutong Thai kasama ang mga taga-Seapa.

Madaling araw ng Biyernes ng umalis ako ng Jakarta pauwing Maynila.

Siyanga pala, alam n'yo bang sikat na sikat sa Indonesia si Diana Zubiri na nakilala daw doon dahil sa isang pelikulang "The Girl from Bandung" yata ang pamagat. Sikat din ang mang-aawit na si Christian Bautista.

At alam nyo bang mas mura pa ang batik (na galing Indonesia) na binibenta sa barter trade sa Zamboanga kaysa batik sa Indonesia na tinitinda sa isang pamilihang aking nadaanan?

At ang daming pirated na CD at DVD na nagkalat lamang sa kanilang mga lansangan.

Hanggang dito na muna. Mukhang kailangan ko pang magpahinga.

Back from Jakarta

I just got back from Jakarta where I sat as a member of a panel that discussed the media's struggle against defamation in Asia.

In the middle of the discussion on Thursday (Press Freedom Day), I received a message from the Philippines that says First Gentleman Jose Miguel Arroyo dropped the libel charges he filed against 46 journalists.

It was good news for Asian journalists gathered in Jakarta. The conference organizers (IFJ, AJI, Seapa) invited me later to join a press conference to announce the news.



After the whole day workshop, we held a candle-lighting vigil at one park in Jakarta's city center to call for the immediate release of Alan Johnston, a BBC correspondent who was abducted by gunmen in Gaza on March 12.

It was an emotional gathering of journalists from all over the region.

Travel

I've always enjoyed airports. Or maybe the idea of travel. It's always exciting to just sit and watch people come and go.

I'm leaving for a trip today. My first this year outside the country.

What I don't like about trips, however, is the preparation - waking up early in the morning, ironing and folding clothes, thinking about what to bring, deciding on what book to read on the plane.

Of course the usual security check, especially the taking off of shoes, is annoying. Well, there are things, including trips abroad, that do not come free.

Tag-araw

Matindi ang init ng araw nitong mga nakalipas na linggo. Kasing-init sa pangangampanya ng mga pulitiko para sa darating na halalan sa Mayo.

Umuwi ako sa probinsya nitong nakalipas na weekend. Gano'n pa rin naman ang itsura ng aking bayan. Tila walang nagbago. Medyo nalinis lang ang dalampasigan dahil dumadami na ang mga kubo sa tabing-dagat at medyo alaga na ang mga halaman at puno.

Ang bagong sidewalk sa boulevard ay gawa na ng clay tiles. Magandang tingnan lalo na sa gabi kapag nasisindihan ang mga makulay na ilaw sa daan.

Di naman nagbago ang mga tao sa bayan ko. May mga tumatanda, may pilit na nagpapabata at marami na talagang mga bagong mukha na naging tao na siguro noong umalis na ako sa bayan 24 na taon na ang nakalipas.

Maalat pa rin ang dagat, mainit pa rin ang araw, namumulaklak pa rin ang akasya. May mga bagong bahay na ang tawag ng mga pinsan ko ay "katas ng retirement," "katas ng pagpupunas ng pwet ng banyaga" at "katas ng pagpuputa" sa Japan at ibang bansa.

Tsismoso't tsismosa pa rin ang mga dati nang tsismoso't tsismosa, 'di na ako nakakita ng tuba sa sentro ng bayan, Red Horse na ang tinitira ng kabataan at 'di na baylehan ang tawag ng sayawan. XRM na ang gamit ng mga bagets sa gimik, 'di tulad noon na kami ay nagpapagandahan ng bike.

Tahimik pa rin ang bayan ko. Pangarap ko pa rin na manitili doon, kasama ang mga mahal sa buhay, sa darating na panahon.

Malungkot lang na 'di ko man lang lubusang na-enjoy ang tag-init sa sa aming bayan. Nawala na kasi ang mga tukmo't punay na dating nakikipagharutan sa mga maya sa palayan. Wala na ang palayan sa likod ng aming kubo. Bahayan na ito. Marami na kaming mga kapitbahay, mga pinsan at kamag-anak.

Tag-araw, natutuyo ang mga batis sa Tipsong, walang hamog ang mga bulaklak sa umaga, nagtatago na yata ang mga dalaga.

Scenes from over the weekend

Another dark period for Philippine media

This week marks another dark period for press freedom in the Philippines, with the murder of a colleague, the attempted murder of another and a libel case filed by a governor against yet another.

Carmelo Palacios, 41, field reporter of the government-run Radyo ng Bayan, was found dead in Sta. Rosa town, Nueva Ecija, Wednesday morning, his body battered and shot in the chin. He was the 51st journalist to be killed under the Arroyo administration's increasingly blood-drenched watch, and the third this year.

Director Geary Barias of Task Force Usig has said there is reason to believe the murder of Palacios was an offshoot of his being a "hard-hitting, no nonsense reporter" and "anti-crime crusader."

A day after, Delfin Mallari Jr., correspondent of the Philippine Daily Inquirer and the host of a local radio program and editor of the local paper Ang Dyaryo Natin, was shot and wounded in an ambush in Lucena City.

Colleague Johnny Glorioso of dzMM and Mallari's co-host and fellow editor, said they have all the reason to believe the attempt on Mallari's life was "politically motivated."

In Cebu City, Leo Lastimosa, station manager of local ABS-CBN radio, was slapped with a libel suit by Cebu Governor Gwendolyn Garcia because of his exposes on alleged scams committed during the preparations for the 12th Association of Southeast Asian Nations there.

And in Albay, dzRH reporter Jun Alegre was arrested yesterday and jailed over a 10-year-old libel case.

The National Union of Journalists of the Philippines condemns these latest assaults on our colleagues and on press freedom as a whole.

Indeed, the assaults on journalists and not just press freedom but freedom of expression and the people's right to know as well, have been coming more often and becoming more brazen.

In the case of media, while there remains no indication that this is part of a broad, concerted effort, unlike the assaults on other sectors, the fact nevertheless remains that the continued assaults on
our colleagues and on our freedom and liberties are abetted by a climate of impunity that is the result of official inaction, antipathy and, in many cases, even outright hostility.

This is borne out by last year's attempts by government to clamp down on the media during the ill-conceived state of national emergency, the multiple libel cases filed against 46 journalists by no less than the president's husband, the sedition charges filed against the Tribune and the comments from sundry government and security officials, notably Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez, that a number of our slain colleagues may have deserved their fates -- as if there were any justification for murder.

Again, as we mourn our fallen, see to our wounded and give succor to the embattled, we challenge President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to do the one singular act that will prove that her administration is not abetting this climate of impunity that is steadily and with gathering speed and brazenness battering at our most basic rights and liberties -- issue a categorical order to put an end to the killings and assaults, to get the perpetrators, and declare the decriminalization of libel an urgent measure.

We urge our colleagues to remain steadfast and band together and call on the people whom we serve to help send a strong signal to those who would deprive them of their right to know that, no, we will not surrender.

Jose Torres Jr.
NUJP chairperson

Nokia N70: Sunset

Being a good citizen

It's difficult to be a law-abiding citizen. You have to fall in line under the heat of the sun to pay your taxes. It's good that some banks are accepting payments. I did just that and became a good citizen in just a matter of 15 minutes.

Now I have all the right to complain about bad roads, the rising cost of living and the human rights violations that are, most of the times, not addressed by authorities. I paid my taxes, paid my dues, did my part as a Filipino, our government should be doing its part too.

As expected, Pacquiao won

Pacquiao won.

Filipinos, including Rep. Darlene Antonino-Custodio, were grateful after Manny brought "honor" to the country by beating the hell out of Jorge Solis.

Good for Manny. He will surely bring home the money. Good for all Pinoys. We had a temporary break from the boredom of our poor existence. There was even free merienda in some sports complex in Manila courtesy of local politicians.

Good for me and my colleagues. We had to stay in the office for almost 20 hours now to make sure the world will be informed what happens to the "people's champion."

I wonder why we're so excited about the outcome of the Pacquiao-Solis fight when we were so sure anyway that Manny would win.

It's just maybe the love for a good fight.

All eyes on Pacquiao

Pacquiao will win. Most Filipinos are betting on it. He will easily win against Solis in San Antonio, Texas. I doubt if he will have the same easy time against Ms Darlene Antonino in GenSan in the coming elections.

Problems will again be forgotten today. Filipinos will be glued on their television sets. They will watch the "people's champ" slug it out with the Mexican Solis. There will be no campaign sorties later today. Politicians too need to have a rest. And yes, a good time.

All roads in Metro Manila will lead to SM malls where a live telecast of the fight will be shown, at least for those who can afford to buy tickets. Others will have to wait for the delayed telecast over GMA 7. They can use the money for the ticket to buy lunch and merienda.

I will have my own thing to do later today. I have to forget my own daily fights in life. I need to monitor Pacquiao's fight. Win or lose, I have to work.

The angels flew

I failed to shoot angels on Easter Sunday. I overslept.

Below are some scenes I shot during the Holy Week.

Happy Easter!

Holy Week is over. It's Easter. My dog has died. I've never updated my blogs (yes, I have several blogs) and there are so many things to write about.

The elections are here. Yes, we're electing local and national officials. And there are so many things to do.

I saw a man crucified on Good Friday. I went to the empty cross after the crucifixion. There were no nail marks. It's one of those miracles.

I'll try to shoot angels in the morning.

Things to do and more

So many things to do, so little time. I'm not surprised that I'm enjoying it though.

I was at Bulacan State University this morning for a talk with journalism students. To be with young people is always fun. It reminds me of the days when I watched and listened with amazement at guest speakers and lecturers during convocations and symposia, and wonder how they become what they've become.

I took an FX ride from SM North EDSA to Malolos, paying a P100. It was my first time to travel again to Bulacan. The last time was more than a decade ago. I was surprised and I felt cheated after learning, on my way back home, that the fare was only P70.

Now I know, I told myself.

After Bulacan, it's back to the office for another level of learning - deciding on what stories, photos, etc, to run, following up on other office tasks, and answering calls from friends, including setting an appointment with the Melo Commission to discuss strategies on how to address the unfortunate murder of colleagues.

There's a lot of things to do and, indeed, we're still a long, long way away from achieving what we want to achieve, whatever it is.

Every experience is part of the learning process. I've convinced myself about it a long time ago.

Blogger

I'm still doing this post in the old blogger. It's not because I have this tendency to be attached to what's already there. I'm not just in the mood right now to change settings or migrate this blog to the new blogger. I've tried Wordpress, I liked it, but I still come back here.

I've been to the 18th Ninoy Aquino Awards this morning. It's like a reunion, although I observed that a lot of people were absent. It was maybe because of the traffic on Quezon Avenue and Manila.

Here's a toast to this year's fellows - Norman Aquino of BusinessWorld and Prosecutor Ric Cabaron. Enjoy the trip guys and make the most out of it!

New blog, new site

GMANews.TV, where I am managing editor, has finally unveiled its new look on New Year's Day. The site carries a section for bloggers. I've started a new blog there, although it still carries an old entry from another blog. You can read my "official" entries there. Please visit our site and try to click on my blog too. Thank you very much and Happy New Year to all.

Another blog

I've been experimenting with other blog sites/hosting. I've since mirrored this blog on jotorres.wordpress.com. No worry, as of now the contents are the same. I'm still on the experimentation stage. I've tried the new beta of blogger. It's better the earlier version, which I am using for this blog. I am, however, still waiting for blogger to allow earlier users to migrate content to the new improved and easier version. As of now, I'm enjoying my experiment with wordpress although there are times that the connection to the site slow down.

'The White Man’s Burden'

I just got hold of a copy of Robert D. Kaplan’s “Imperial Grunts” from National Bookstore this afternoon. “Imperial Grunts’ is Kaplan’s reportage on the American military’s operations in various areas in the world, including the Philippines, after the United States declared war against terror.

I just read the book’s prologue where Kaplan compared the poet/writer Rudyard Kipling to another American artist, Frederic Remington. While Kipling celebrated in his works British imperialism, Remington turned imperialism “from fact into heroic myth” when he rode with troops scouting for Indians to subdue.

What caught ignorant me, however, was a footnote on page 10 of Kaplan’s book that reads: “’The White Man’s Burden’ was a poem written by Kipling to urge the United States to intervene in the Philippines in 1899. It is essentially an idealistic poem, though it has often been quoted out of context.”

I searched google for the poem and found a copy in the Washington State University website. Here’s Kipling’s poem.

The White Man’s Burden

Take up the White Man's burden--
Send forth the best ye breed--
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives' need;
To wait in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild--
Your new-caught, sullen peoples,
Half-devil and half-child.

Take up the White Man's burden--
In patience to abide,
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain
To seek another's profit,
And work another's gain.

Take up the White Man's burden--
The savage wars of peace--
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease;
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man's burden--
No tawdry rule of kings,
But toil of serf and sweeper--
The tale of common things.
The ports ye shall not enter,
The roads ye shall not tread,
Go mark them with your living,
And mark them with your dead.

Take up the White Man's burden--
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard--
The cry of hosts ye humour
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light:--
"Why brought he us from bondage,
Our loved Egyptian night?"

Take up the White Man's burden--
Ye dare not stoop to less--
Nor call too loud on Freedom
To cloke (1) your weariness;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
The silent, sullen peoples
Shall weigh your gods and you.

Take up the White Man's burden--
Have done with childish days--
The lightly proferred laurel, (2)
The easy, ungrudged praise.
Comes now, to search your manhood
Through all the thankless years
Cold, edged with dear-bought wisdom,
The judgment of your peers!

(1) Cloak, cover.
(2) Since the days of Classical Greece, a laurel wreath has been a symbolic victory prize.